#15 Seven Samurai

This is probably the first one on the list that the general public won’t have seen or even heard of. So, I’ll recap: It’s a Japanese movie from 1954 about a small village that hires seven samurai to defend them from a band of forty bandits. Sounds simple and concise, right? No. It’s almost three and a half hours long. The story covers a lot of ground in that amount of time. And the director, the very-famous-in-Japan Akira Kurosawa knows exactly what to do with it. In the Asian tradition, we start at the very beginning, from the bandits deciding to raid the village when the barley ripens, whenever that is. This gives the villagers a time frame to plan how to defend themselves. We follow the town meetings, their decision and then follow those chosen on their journey to find and hire samurai, despite having no money with which to pay. Six are selected, with another one tagging along.

From here, Kurosawa begins to open up the story. Shortly after the samurai return to the village and begin preparations for its defense, we the audience discover that the villagers themselves are hardly innocent victims. Being dirt poor and unsupported in a world with almost no oversight, the village has long been susceptible to outside interference. In the past, they had either lured in, or been tormented by, wandering samurai and killed them, keeping their armor and weapons. I couldn’t really tell which, but the message was that the villagers are bandits of sorts in their own right. Another sub plot is that samurai, who are warrior class by virtue of birth and not virtue, are not always as noble as legends say. Many were greedy, mean or stupid. In fact, the tag along mentioned earlier, was not a samurai at all, but the son of a slain farmer who decided to teach himself how to fight and to carry a massive sword. He turns out to be one of the most intelligent of the seven, despite his lowly birth, and being crazy. Kurosawa handles these subplots amazingly well and weaves them and the main story together seamlessly in an astoundingly realistic world.

This is a great movie to watch and learn a little history while you’re at it. The only thing is that it’s in Japanese and you’ll have to read, which most Americans hate. But they wouldn’t get it anyway, so who cares? Smart people will like this movie, so watch it if you have half a day to kill.

#14 Goodfellas

This review took me so long because I don’t really like this movie. I’ve seen it before a couple times and I was never really impressed. It’s a well made, well acted, well scored gangster movie that helped define what made a gangster movie, but I guess it just wasn’t for me. I can’t really give a good reason why. Maybe it’s how heavy it is. I mean there is some seriously depressing shit in this movie. Such horribleness. Everyone is mean to each other, people are killed for nothing, and everyone snorts cocaine. Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco fight constantly. How messed up are their kids going to be?

But aside from that, I can’t really think of anything. Maybe I just don’t really vibe on gangster movies. As I try to think about it, I don’t think I can name one I like all that much. Except the Godfather series, but that’s the Cadillac. Everyone likes the Cadillac.
Anyway, I put this one off for too long. But that shouldn’t happen again as I the next one has been eluding me for almost 2 years.
Also, I don’t like Ray Liotta.

#247 Casino Royale (2006)

A James Bond movie - I really enjoy the James Bond movie series. Sure the plots tend to be from the same mold each time, but I watch movies to be entertained and this delivers entertainment.

I believe this one focuses so heavily on the high stakes poker game to draw on the peak of poker's public popularity. The poker game is No Limit Texas Hold 'Em - the same poker variety that was sweeping through poker tournaments and casinos and getting shown on ESPN in 2006. I'm sure that facet's inclusion was not a coincidence.

The plot involves your typical Bond-going-rogue in his quest to complete his mission his own way. There are double crosses with twists and more double crossings. Bond gets his girl as usual. If you like James Bond movies then you'll like this one. If you don't you won't. It's that simple.

Some things that caught my eye this time through (I have seen it before as well):

1. MI6 knows the bad guys locations, their crimes, and cohorts. Bond looks through the main enemy's dossier midway through - complete with known associates and a rap sheet. Why go through the risk, hassle, and un-needed event that was the high stakes poker tournament? Just arrest the criminals and be done with it. (Of course, then there would be no movie - but a movie with things like this in it...? Find a way to make it a necessary plot element?)

2. It seems Bond recovered from his ball smashing torture rather quickly and ably - boning up the Bond girl not much after (the time-line is somewhat vague there, but the description given of the torture didn't leave much room for 'parts being usable afterward'...)

3. At the 2hr 3m 18s point in the movie, the Bond girl (yes she had a name in the movie, but I prefer to use this reference) was on a boat with Bond when the scene focuses on her facial expression. In the background is a storefront type building with "I R" on it in big letters. As I watched this scene I noticed something I had never caught before - the letters seem to float in mid air. That is, as the buildings flow by in the background (they are traveling down the river) the letters do not move in a manner consistent with the building movement. Go ahead and check it out, let me know what you think.

#13 Casablanca

I just watched Casablanca for the first time. Kind of a strange thing for a self proclaimed movie buff to say. I realize my introduction to Bogey is overdue; it’s just that I was raised in a different time. My movie classics came from John Landis or were related to the world not being real. I have to say though; the best are the best for a reason. This movie is spectacular. It is truly moving. I won’t try to compete with the near infinite reviews and interpretations that already exist for this movie in the world. But I will relate how it touched me. I’m at a point in my life where I needed to see a man like Ricky. I think most 21^st century American men do as well. This guy is the coolest guy since Sean Connery. I think I’ve found a new personal hero. Rude, indifferent, emotionally unreachable, smokes like a chimney, drinks like a sailor, and is a true sentimentalist underneath it all. We are pansies. I have a lot of respect for a man who gets his heart broken, drowns his sorrows, and picks himself up all collected and calm again the very next day. No wallowing or weak pining and lamenting. Just a bottle of bourbon and a single night to shed it all away. I just haven’t met anyone in this day and age who is like that. Tough like that. And then to give up his chance at the end in order to do what is truly right, we definitely don’t think like that anymore. And he does it remorselessly. That’s conviction that I admire. Even kills a guy. Although that jerk had it coming.
One thing that was really cool was to see all the great lines that I had heard my entire life delivered in context. This movie has 5 or 6 of the greatest lines in movie history. The way with words that the characters have is very proper and old timey, but in an amazing way, rather than boring. Just more to the point than I’m accustomed to. I really felt connected to the characters because the dialogue they used was so descriptive. They really knew how to express themselves with words. I ramble, but this is truly a great movie that had me yelling at the TV and feeling right along with them. I think I will now go find more Bogart movies.

#12 Star Wars: A New Hope

As I mentioned in a previous review, George Lucas has lost his shit. He lost it sometime between the 70’s and releasing the original three again. And I was a little disappointed to find out I had acquired the Remastered edition of the original Star Wars. Sure the space flight stuff and all the pretty colors looked cool, but the additional effects and added scenes sucked. The meeting with Jabba was actually alright; with the exception that it contains the only reference to Human Beings in all three originals. But some of the background stuff was idiotic. Like right after Luke finds his family murdered and decides to leave with Obi Wan, we see a big robot smack an annoying smaller robot. Nothing says, “I’m over my dead family” like classic robot slapstick. Although, I have to mention the greatest goof in history (according to me at the time, and I watched it 70’s style) was in the original cut, and I never noticed it. A storm trooper that is slightly taller than the others, walked into a low door. Bonked his head and almost fell over backward. I almost plotszed. Another hilarity was Harrison Ford in the detention center on the phone with the imperial guy. He had that ridiculous voice and rambled on about how fine they all were before inquiring the same of the operator. Then shoots the thing and clearly refers to the fact that on set, there was only him talking to a table, and says, “It was a one-way conversation anyway.” That’s some great improv Indy.

More officially, I can’t say anything about this movie that I didn’t say about Return of the Jedi. Same faults, same magic, just a slightly better piece of the story and maybe more credit for being the first one. I’m still surprised that this one is the #2 Star Wars.

Last thing that always bugged me. Why are there only 6 Tie fighters protecting something as freaking huge as the Death Star? I think there should have been like 6,000. Just a more logical number.

#11 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Goddamn this is a long movie. Took me just under a month to get through it. It's a little peculiar that just one of the trilogy makes its way so high up on the list, as they are basically all one movie. Which is the only way to make these books into movies that are any good. That being said, this is clearly the most interesting piece. Great action, profound moments of introspection and the final resolution to a truly epic adventure. This story is awesome and it took some major talent and even bigger balls to turn it into such a great movie trilogy. I’ve read all the books and I cannot have imagined it better than the finished product Peter Jackson gave the world.
The last scene is truly touching for me. It grips me with feelings of loss and of being lost. What do you do when you say goodbye to a friend closer than a brother forever? How do you live your life after living through such a harrowing adventure? Where do you go when you have seen the what the world has to offer? These questions are so moving to most people that they can’t be answered fully. Ever. I am for some strange reason quite susceptible to these sentiments as I am feeling quite adrift at the moment. On some level, I feel like it was me saying goodbye to my best friend as I realize that this amazing story that has captivated me for the last 2 years is now over. Call me a nerd, but I get that way after the final episode of every beloved TV show. I can’t even speak for the first 20 minutes after the last episode of Cowboy Bebop and I’ve seen the whole series 4 times.

Anyway, I don’t think there is anything particularly different about this movie compared to the other 2, so I am just going to say one thing: I think Tolkien was a master.

#248 Mou gaan dou [EN: Infernal Affairs] (2002)

Excuse the poor etiquette by starting this off talking about a different movie and including so much off-topic discussion, but...

The Departed, which I am sure most people have seen, is simply an American re-make of this movie - Infernal Affairs. Before viewing Infernal Affairs, I had no idea it was the original foreign version of The Departed. It took about 15 minutes and I just had this feeling I had seen this movie before without English dubbed-over voices and Chinese actors. It hit me when the police Chief (or some high ranking police officer who knew too much) was thrown off the top of the station after being jumped in the elevator by the bad guys. BAM! This thing is a rip-off of The Departed!... wait, no way - it came out BEFORE The Departed, which is a rip-off of Mou gaan dou!!! :-o

So many similarities by the end of the movie, and even more as I think back through both movies. I won't list them here, watch both movies (if you have seen neither, view Infernal Affairs first) and you'll agree.

I liked Infernal Affairs, and if I had never seen The Departed I would be even more enamored with this film. A solid police drama with plot twists galore - you may not see them coming if you haven't seen the "re-make".

In case you couldn't tell by reading what I typed above, I now hate The Departed even more (I never really liked it in the first place). Maybe it wasn't intended to be taken as original (The Departed, that is), but I never saw or heard anything telling me "based on Mou gaan dou (Infernal Affairs)" >.<

Scorsese should be ashamed for trying to pass off The Departed as anything original. He just used American actors and made very slight adjustments (if you can call it that) to the scenes to make money off movie-viewers thinking he had directed an original film.

That is all.